Common Sense is Gone From Our Schools

Dear Mr. President,

     I am writing to share with you what I have witnessed and experienced as an employee of the school system. I have been a paraprofessional with my state's schools system for thirteen years. In that time I have seen a startling deterioration of the quality of education we are providing our children. There are so many issues that I'm unsure where to begin...but I believe the foundation of every other problem is a lack of discipline. We have been stripped of every tool and any leverage that we once had to modify student behavior. It has come to a point where we are afraid even to speak sternly to a child. I, personally, have been reprimanded many a time for being "too aggressive". In all of those situations my behavior would have been considered perfectly reasonable just five years ago. I believe that we should be honest with children, first and foremost. I believe that a child should know when they have behaved inappropriately. I believe we should speak plainly and clearly to children about misbehavior. Never making the child feel like a "bad" person; never belittling or berating a child...but simply telling them in a forthright manner where they've gone off the path of proper behavior. I believe that children can learn to behave in school despite their home life. I believe that ANY child can learn to behave differently. I believe in appropriate and consistent consequences when a child does not meet behavior expectations. I believe that rewards should be used carefully and given only when they are truly earned. I believe that children will always do what you expect them do to, provided that your first expectation is that they do their best. I have found that nearly everyone I speak to feels similarly; except those who are making the rules and guidelines for the way we approach students and handle misbehavior.

     In the school system, we are told never to use consequences for a child with behavioral difficulties. We are told that we are to lavish these children with compliments; pointing out to the child every proper choice they make. We are told to do this even if we have to "invent" positives to give the child. We are told that a child who follows the direction to remove his hood should be amply praised for doing as he was asked; not consequenced for breaking the rule in the first place. If the child puts his hood on a second time and we have to ask him to remove it; he should be praised again if he follows that direction. We are told to praise that child over and over for anything "acceptable" he may do; even if we have to invent things. We are to reward the child with prizes and adult attention and priveleges for any small act of proper behavior; or even for stopping a behavior that they were engaging in (ie. Here is a sticker because I see that you have stopped screaming.)  The intention is to show the child that it is much more productive and he gets much more attention when he does the right thing. While I certainly understand the basis of this theory; it is completely inappropriate and ineffective much of the time. Secondly; I do not grasp the sense in rewarding a child for ceasing a behavior that shouldn't have happened in the first place.  Many of the children we are to practice this theory with do not respond to it at all. Many of them learn very quickly to manipulate systems based on this theory. Many children who observe this theory being practiced on classmates will say things like "He acts naughty, so he gets extra rewards." I believe that, by rewarding and praising a child for approximations of expected behavior or for ceasing poor behavior; we are teaching them that they are entitled to rewards for these things because they are incapable of doing better. We are teaching them that we do not expect the same from them that we expect from their peers; which sends the underlying messege that we don't believe they are capable. I feel that this is a great diservice to our children. We are setting them up for failure by sending the messege that they are not expected to behave properly, that they are not capable of behaving properly, that they are entitled to rewards for doing things everyone else does for free. We are not teaching them skills that they will need to be productive adults. We are perpetuating the cycle of people who are less than stellar citizens raising people who are less than stellar citizens; which also perpetuates the stereotype that kids from poor or disfunctional families can't break free of that cycle because they're not capable and there's no hope that they will succeed.

     The children in my building do not learn to sit in a chair and follow simple directions. They do not learn to repect every adult. They do not learn to accept direction or critizism. They do not learn these things because every form of discipline we might use in an effective way has been deemed "ineffective" "damaging" "negative" etc. There are no meaningful consequences for misbehaviors because we are no longer allowed to use them. Because there are no meaningful consequences; the children learn very early that they can behave badly and suffer nothing. Some children even learn that extremley escalated poor behavior gets MORE attention than good behavior. They learn that if they throw an enormous tantrum every time they do not like a direction; we eventually allow them to do anything they like. Some children realize that we are "afraid" to "set them off" and learn how to manipulate us until they have gained the priveledge of doing no school work and participating only in activities that they find interesting. They can abuse other children and adult staff because they are above the rules we expect their peers to follow. It is amazing how quickly a child realizes that we have no recourse to their behavior. Children who have a predisposition to struggle with authority will very shortly be using the system we've been asked to employ to make school what they want it to be instead of what it should be. I find this to be immoral and unacceptable. I am often embarrassed to be a part of a system that allows these things to happen; but I feel like I can't give up on my students.

     What the "decision makers" seem to be most concerned with is looking and sounding positive and productive. MY concern is reality. The reality is that we are dealing with children who need a steady diet of structure; clear expectations and consistent outcomes. They NEED us to expect the best from them. They NEED consistent outcomes if they are ever to understand that actions have consequences; both positive and negative. This cannot be accomplished by being ingenuine. We must be allowed and expected to be firm. We must be allowed and expected to be honest and plain spoken. We must be allowed and expected to BE IN CONTROL. Children were not designed to govern themselves; but that is what I see happening every day. It does not work. Every school year we are more and more restricted in how we discipline; and every year we are fed new theory based on "positives" and "building relationships". Every year the behavior gets worse. It has been getting worse every year since I began my career. I have never seen a child with behavior issues benefit from the tactics and theories we've been expected to employ. NOT ONE. I HAVE seen countless children who could have been saved end up in our "Behavior Program". I HAVE seen countless children who move on from our school and our program fail miserably to assimilate in middle school and highschool. I HAVE seen kids who leave us

after fifth grade being arrested and or landing in alternative schools where they are also expected to do nothing. I have not been in the system long enough to see my kids end up in jail...but I know that scenario is looming in my future. I have known many children who began as a student who "rode the fence" behaviorally. They were somewhat mischeivious or prone to anger. They were successful as Kindergarteners and First Graders IF they were with a firm and consistent teacher. These kids are easily swayed in the direction of misbehavior; but CAN behave if expectations are clear and rewards and consequnces are reliable. I have seen SO MANY of these kids enter a second or third grade classroom as a "fence rider" and come out as a "Behavior Program" kid. Why? Because they will, eventually, land with a teacher who follows the latest theory. A teacher who does not maintain expectations. A teacher who lets behaviors slide in the name of keeping peace. It deosn't take long for a kid who "rides the fence" to fall off on the side of misbehavior given these circumstances. I've established countless relatioships with younger children who struggle; but succeed given consistency and dedication only to encounter that child a few years later and find that they are unrecognizable. They have become one of the entitled; manipulative, disrespectful, violent, underacheivers we have taught them to be. Somebody expected nothing from these kids and taught them to give exactly that. When you do not expect a child to behave to his potential; you are teaching him that he is not worth your effort. You are teaching him that he will not be successful. You are teaching him that anyone who expects him to behave like anyone else is asking too much and should be responded to negatively...perhaps even with hostility. I have been broken-hearted many times upon approaching a child who returns to our grounds for whatever reason; given that child a direction to follow a school policy, and been met with overt hostility and disrespect. It hurts me so deeply to look into the eyes of a child who had potential to succeed if only EVERY adult in their school environment had believed that he was capable. To look into those eyes and see anger; self loathing; animosity towards authority...or, worse yet; see nothing. No light. No hope. No joy. The kind of nothingness we see in the eyes of young men and women who commit violent crimes and feel nothing. Kids who DO NOT CARE if they spend thier lives in jail because we taught them that they have no other future anyway.

     I could write page after page of examples and stories. I could tell about all of the other issues we are facing in the schools. BUT...I really believe that the basis of our current failure lies in the lack of discipline. If a child doesn't learn the fundamental elements of being a decent and productive human being; what hope is there for that child to grow into such a person? None. My hope in writing this letter is to start a movement towards the return of common sense. Common sense dictates that actions have consequences. Common sense dictates that we only follow rules because there is a consequence for not doing so. If there was no speed limit; everyone...even the most resposible among us; would eventually succumb to human nature and go too fast. Children have to be taught to follow rules and take direction; they don't do it naturally because it is not human nature.  Children NEED us to show them the way...and we can't show them the way of we are on a false path ourselves. Please, Mr. President; consider what I've said. You will not get an honest picture of our schools by asking the people at the "top". You can only get an accurate account of the goings-on in our schools from people like myself who are in the trenches every day. People who are unconcerned with appearances or political correctness. People who know the kids inside out and love them. The teachers and the paraprofessionals are the people you need to look to for honest accounts of the state of education in our country. The decision makers keep making more and more demands and placing more and more unrealistic expectaions on our teachers; to no avail. Scores are low; moral is lower. The teachers can only work with what they are given and they're being given kids who don't know how to learn. I am asking you to dive into the schools and ask us; the educators, how things are going and what needs to change. I think you will be greatly surprised and deeply saddened; but my hope is that you will see fit to set in motion changes to save the next generation from this fate. I thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely Yours, Amy